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Eudaemonia

“…See you can’t please everyone,
so you got to please yourself…”
Ricky Nelson

In a fit of COVID-confinement boredom, I recently took advantage of a six month membership offer for a popular dating website. Anything but boring. Between Netflix, Starz, and this, my free time has pretty much evaporated.

It’s been a real education for me on a number of levels, having been out of the dating world for more than 23 years. The people watcher in me has had a field day reading all the profiles, which range from desperate appeals to unwarranted arrogance and mirrors I wouldn’t mind owning. The people I’ve corresponded with (pretty much all you can do in the current wait-for-my-vaccine environment) have largely been interesting, accomplished, and attractive; while some few are batshit crazy. Crazy has its own appeal, but you shouldn’t have doubts about waking up around them.

The author sees it as an opportunity to create character profiles for use in upcoming books. No names or attribution, just personalities and physical descriptions. Talk about a dual use upside! Heck, I might even sell a few books as potential dates kick tires and check my teeth.

I’m having way too much fun with this!

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Virtue

“I tend to suspect the virtue of those who signal it.”
Dan M. Kalin

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What Do You Do?

Recently I was standing in line to board a flight, making small talk with those around me, and an earnest extrovert (who was doubtless in sales or marketing) asked me “What do you do?”. Oddly enough the question triggered a system failure in my brain, as it looped unsuccessfully in search of a correct or acceptable response. After a longish pause I muttered something about management consulting and continued on my way.

Later I considered why the question stumped me so. Part of the issue is I’ve never identified with things done merely to earn a living or for recreation. Being limited to something like that is faintly repulsive to me. I don’t mind the need of people to categorize/stereotype others, it’s merely a way for them to make sense of the world. In short, they’re building a model of who you are to guide them in further discussion. The problem I have is a simple answer will not always provide an accurate model. It generally doesn’t in my case.

So how should I answer the question?

Should I say;

    • I’m an international energy systems engineer?
    • I’m the founder of a gaming software company?
    • I’m an inventor?
    • I’m a technology product manager?
    • I’m a program manager for space systems?
    • I’m a book reviewer
    • I’m a publisher?
    • I’m an author?
    • I’m a management consultant?
    • I’m financially independent?
    • I’m a masters swimmer?
    • I’m retired?

An accurate answer requires much more than these simple statements, all of which are true but don’t get to the heart of the literal question. I wouldn’t be happy with any of these answers as my summation. Standing in line with strangers however requires a simple throwaway statement, one which conveys the balance of who you are without providing excessive detail. Better yet, the answer should provide the questioner nothing to engage (just in case they ARE in sales).

After a great deal of thought, I’ve come up with the response I’ll use going forward.

“Anything I choose.”

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

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Random Quote

“Nothing in nature is objectively synergistic. Only subjective synergy is identified, and who knows if it is even real? After all, it is only a matter of opinion.”
Dan M. Kalin

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Random Quote

“Big fish in little ponds should occasionally take a humbling swim in the ocean.”
Dan M. Kalin

For the metaphor-challenged, the following covers most of it;

“..There’s always a bigger fish.”
Qui-Gon Jinn – Star Wars Ep. 1